Struggling to Achieve your Goal? Move the Goalpost!
Struggling to Achieve your Goal? Move the Goalpost!
One of my transformational life coaching clients came into our call feeling behind in her work and life. Beating herself up, she was being incredibly hard on herself because she hadn’t achieved a particular goal she had set months earlier. Ultimately, she felt frustrated and disappointed, and was unable to move forward in her business. She believed she wasn’t ‘good enough’, that she had let herself down, and was worried about what other people would think. As a result, she had stopped taking action at all.
She was stuck!
Digging a little deeper, I discovered she was in the midst of a healing journey. Although she had spent the past six months in recovery from major surgery, she had not acknowledged the value and necessity of rest and recuperation. There was no validation for the time she had spent looking after and healing herself. Her sense of achievement was attached to study, her business, and financial success, rather than honouring her need to heal and the lessons included in this experience.
The only way forward was to move her goalpost.
How to Move your Goalpost
Give yourself permission to change your goal
Life happens. Unexpected events get in the way of our plans. When this occurs, it’s important to re-evaluate and reassess.
Maybe your goal is no longer possible?
Have you changed since you set your goal?
Are your priorities different?
Is the time frame you created not aligned with Divine timing?
Physical attachment to a goal causes overwhelm, anxiety, pressure, the need for approval, and to prove yourself,
‘I will only be good/happy/fulfilled when I achieve this goal’.
It does not allow for the recognition that life happens and sometimes steers us in a different direction. Remaining attached leads to negative feelings of unhappiness, frustration, guilt, and anger. When you are attached to a goal, there is no room for error, mistake, freedom, or lessons.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Creating a new goal and/or timeline, gives you space to move forward. It relieves the pressure and takes away the ‘bad’ feelings.
Reframe your Goal
Being aware of your individual journey is crucial. When things don’t go to plan, there will always be a lesson to learn.
My client’s long-term desire is to help people on their healing journey, but her study goal was interrupted by her health problem. When we reframed the situation, she could see how much she had learned from her own healing journey and recognised that she can use her personal experience to support others in the future. So, although it occurred in an unexpected way, she was already on her way to achieving everything she wanted.
Release your Goal
Letting go of a goal that no longer serves you allows you to release pressure and expectation. Setting a new goal, or changing the time frame, creates excitement! It gives you the space to move forward and take action.
Like so many of us, my client thought she could do it all. She started her study knowing she was having surgery but thinking she would be able to do both at the same time. She didn’t understand that she would need the time to slow down, rest, and heal. But her body clearly showed her what she needed – to heal completely she had to give herself time, and permission to let go of the course.
Set a New Goal
When things don’t go to plan, slow down and feel into what you think about your original goal.
What expectations have you placed on yourself?
What have you learned from your experience?
Do you have to completely change your goal, or can you simply adjust the time frame?
Give yourself permission
Tell yourself it is safe to change your goal, or your mind. Reassure yourself that it is not a ‘failure’, and recognise that you have learned a valuable lesson, even if it is different from the one you expected.
My client learned the importance of slowing down and healing – and was able to connect her experience to her vision. Life lessons are not always book learning. Her healing journey incorporates the essence of coaching – she’s realised that she’s been doing the work, not just learning about it.
Detach from your Goal
When you set a goal, it is crucial to detach from it. This allows you to work towards it with ease and flow, be more grounded, and be present to accept any challenges that happen in your life.
Holding on for dear life creates tension and pressure. When you are solely focussed on achieving your goal, your mind is not open. Your insight becomes narrowed to your goal; nothing else matters.
When you detach, you create the space to be present to other areas of your life, and to learn other lessons that come your way. You let go of the ‘need to achieve’ in order to prove your worth, regardless of the challenges of life. You no longer need to hustle, push through, and risk burn out.
Learn your Signals
Attachment to goals brings negative feelings. Detachment provides positive feedback within your body, heart and soul. Explore what your body is telling you.
What are your signals to know whether you are in a place of attachment vs detachment?
The only way to create balance in your life is to let go of expectation. If you are feeling frustrated, guilty, angry or disappointed, move the goalpost to bring in happiness, calm, and relaxation.
Bring balance and positive energy to your life and business by continuing to reassess, reframe, set new goals, detach, and take action.
It takes time, practice, and conscious awareness to learn to reframe, adjust, let go, and release your goals, but doing this valuable work will have a significant positive effect on your mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing.
As for my client, she is healing well and has organised an extension for her studies. She’s become much more aware of her body signals and is no longer stuck in a place of disappointment and frustration.
.Working with the Moon teaches us to work with our natural cycles. The Full Moon is the perfect time to reassess our goals – to detach, adjust, recognise what does and doesn’t work, continue in a new cycle and set our intentions again.
“I continue to grow my business from a place of service to create a lifestyle that works for me and my family. Helping others transform is part of who I am.”